About Your Pride and My Prejudice

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The reunion with the Collins ladies took place in a flash. The fact that my mother is in the living room means that Mrs. Kearney is with her, and Mrs. Kearney’s voice is good enough to permeate into Julia’s secret space under the stairs.

I expected the baptism of questions to begin as soon as we met, but we only shared urgent and deep hugs.

I think it was a pretty dramatic scene even now. Mrs. Kearney, Julia, and finally my mother burst into tears and therefore I couldn’t have been an exception.

After the uproar, it was still a little early for dinner. The Collins ladies and I sat down at the old table.

After the story of Florin’s summer and autumn that passed without a hitch (though, of course, the social world was buzzing with it), the story that the royal family sent letters twice because of me, and the story of my great-aunt’s funeral, there was only one topic left.

“So…”

Finally, the time has come for a barrage of questions.

“You gave up studying abroad because of someone you met in the Principality, and so far, you’ve been with him at his house…….”

“……Yes, that’s right.”

“Oh, my God.”

Mrs. Kearney blinked again and again in shock, unlike the person who joked that she wanted a Lunoian son-in-law.

Well, that was to be expected. My past days were nothing but an escape from love, not studying abroad. It’s even the kingdom of Sorne and I’m Melissa, the only daughter and unmarried lady, who never knew a single man.

There was such a heavy silence that the sound of Julia biting her nails could be heard clearly.

“Who is he?”

It was my mother who broke the silence.

“If he had taken care of you, I guess he would have a lot of money. Is he a low-ranking nobleman?”

“Not a noble…”

My mother’s eyes narrowed further at my answer.

“Then what is he? What kind of man is he that you… Sigh.”

“…….”

My mother couldn’t speak anymore. She was probably writing the worst-case scenario in her head, but Mrs. Kerney wouldn’t be able to bring it up further, even if she was listening to Julia.

“Miss! He’s a Lunoian, right?”

Then Julia’s bright voice rang out.

“Then did you fall in love at first sight? Where did you meet him?”

“Oh, that’s… On board the ship to the Principality…….”

“Such a romantic thing! I’m sure he must have asked you to marry him?”

“Well…”

As I blurred my words, Julia widened her round eyes as if urging an answer. Did she not notice at all that everyone except her was giving off unusual energy? I envied that innocence in a sense.

“Julia.”

At that moment, my mother opened her mouth.

“Will you help to prepare the meal?”

“Ah! That’s right, Julia. Can you help me? Let’s see….”

Mrs. Kerney jumped to her feet and winked at Julia urgently. Julia, with a surprised look, rose up following her.

“Melissa.”

“……Yes, Mom.”

“Follow me.”

And I followed my mother to the room, too. The old table was empty before I knew it.

* * *

My mother lit a candle half melted in the dark. As soon as the bright light spread, a low-voiced question flew in.

“So, are you here to get permission to marry?”

“…….”

Come to think of it, my mother, who once shouted for marriage and pounded her chest, has stopped yelling and nagging at me.

Even though it was a change as if she had become a different person, I thought it was only for health reasons. Otherwise, my mother has finally begun to respect my dreams.

But now I know. The influence of my father’s incident on my mother’s change may not be insignificant.

“Is that so, Melissa? Hm?”

My mother who asked that question seemed a little distressed. Her barely squeezing voice trembled.

But it was equally painful for me, who couldn’t just say that the man was Alan Leopold.

“I don’t know about marriage yet.”

“Melissa, you—”

“Mom.”

It is difficult to tell a story that is not certain. But I didn’t want to show my mother my hesitation now.

Even on the ship heading to the kingdom, in the carriage running here, I pondered the words for this moment.

“Love is something you never know.”

“…….”

“But I’m sure he’s in love with me right now. So do I.”

I had a fleeting thought of how it would have been if Alan had been here with me, holding his hand and saying,

“I know that you will feel anxious because these are the only words after returning. I am a young daughter who has just passed the coming of age.”

“You know it well.”

“But I actually knew this, too. Even before I went to the Principality, you didn’t feel comfortable…….”

“……What do you mean?”

And now it was really time to tell the story of the mother and daughter that had been postponed.

“Mom, I heard about father.”

“What?”

At that moment, my mother’s face was filled with shock and sorrow. I looked at the amplification of emotions that spread like drops of ink in the water with stunned eyes. I felt more miserable than I thought.

“I heard it from my great-aunt when I went to ArchHill. She probably thought I had known…….”

“…….”

“Even if you told me the truth, I would have tried to cheer you up. I’m your only daughter.….”

Unintentionally, an upset voice went out.

Mother and daughter are not used to having deep conversations, so sometimes I felt more comfortable with Mrs. Kerney. However, this disappointment clearly stems from my affection for my mother.

I quickly added a sincere word. I had to try to keep my voice from shaking.

“……I know you must have had a hard time, but I know you hid it because you thought of me who was weak-hearted. Thank you very much.”

Even if it was meant to keep me from feeling skeptical about marriage, so that I could eventually find a decent husband and help the family, my gratitude remains the same.

Even though the marriage was pushed for a living, my mother tried to find happiness in it. Thanks to this, I grew up in a cozy peace without noticing anything that happened between my parents until I became an adult.

It may not be enough to simply describe it in terms of effort.

Mrs. Collins’s small fence-like happiness, which she has kept despite my family’s decline due to my father’s sudden fraud. It must have been shattered the moment her husband left home and started a family with another woman.

People like me can’t even imagine what it’s like to hide that trembling frustration without sharing it with your one and only blood.

“I’m sorry.”

But my mother apologized to me.

“Because I couldn’t keep this family perfectly…….”

“Why, why are you apologizing?”

“If I had been a better wife, I wouldn’t have given you a half-family.”

“……Mom, it’s not your fault.”

I hate the way women think here. Even more so when I realize that I’ve already been mixed in here undeniably.

“Even my stubborn great-aunt told me not to trust men. Men are a race that cannot be satisfied with one woman. So even if I marry in pursuit of love, I will only be hurt if I trust a man.”

“…….”

My mother sighed shallowly with a complex face. She also seemed to be recalling the cruel Viscountess Josephine, who did not say that in her lifetime.

“After hearing that, and knowing about me and your father, didn’t it hurt you to love that man?”

“I….”

“You must have been surprised, too. You never dreamed that your father would be that kind of person.”

My mother who said so looked sad and seemed a little shy, but the voice that followed was endlessly friendly.

“I must say, Melissa, love cannot exist without faith.”

“Mom is right. Maybe one day, he’ll change, because he’s a man……. I’m not sure I’ll marry him, but I’m sure there’s nothing more sad about it. However.”

I suppressed my trembling heart and added in a clear tone.

“Nevertheless, I love him. He’s more precious to me than any miracle.”

“…….”

“Don’t worry too much, Mom. I won’t turn down my dream just because I love him. Even if I’m alone again…….”

It’s really, I don’t want to imagine…….

“So that I can stand up without falling down, Mom.”

Just like you who did it brilliantly.

“Whoo.”

The mother, who sighed deeply with her dry lips, said,

“It’s hard to find a good marriage partner since you’ve been with a stranger for several months.”

“Mom…”

“I’m not scolding you. It means you don’t have to come back. Aren’t you trying to say you’re going back to the Principality?”

My mother brought up the topic that I had never thought of.

“Since I heard of your disappearance, I keep praying that you have left my oppression and gone to find your freedom. I’d rather you hate this house.”

“Ah…”

“If my daughter can be safe like that……. So I prayed every day with tears.”

I took out a handkerchief from the inside of my arms and handed it over, biting my lip tightly in a sense of guilt that spread to my toes. My mother said, pressing down her tears.

“I won’t stop you no matter what you do now. This was the first thing I wanted to say when you came back..….”

“…….”

“Don’t compromise because of your family or because of your ugly mother’s shadow, and pursue your happiness. By your choice. Do you understand?”

There was a skinny hand that touched my cheek as she asked me.

Before I could say this, my mother would have walked on an endless thorny path. Thinking about it, my eyes gradually turned sour.

“Mom, I actually only think about him who will be waiting for me in the Principality even now.…. Oh, I’m a fool, and I’m afraid that this love may end in failure, but…….”

“……It’s all right, Mel. You can come back home then.”

Home. I hugged my mother’s thin body tightly with the magical word. I have a house to come back to. When I reflected on the fact, my dark mind seemed to be colored with a bright light.

In my mother’s laid-back arms, I found relief that I had never felt anywhere. It was an endless and longing warmth that seemed to have regained what was lost a long time ago throughout my life.

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